Being happy

“They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself” Andy Warhol

Post last blog I received a number of messages from different people about what was wrong with their lives and asking “How do I change my life?”, “How do I change myself” or “How do I become who I want to be”. Essentially they were all asking the same question, how do I find happiness?

I have no idea but let me give you my two cents anyways because I think about happiness and how to acquire it frequently. First let me start by telling you what I told these people. You’ve messaged me with a recognition that you are not happy with your current life and with a real desire to change it. That’s the hardest part. Next all you have to do is change it. You do that by making changes. 

That’s it. That’s how you change your life. You actually have to go out and change it. I’m not trying to be sarky but it really is that simple. I guess these people want me to message them back with a few inspirational tit bits or some secret they’ve been missing all this time but there isn’t one. Change isn’t cute Instagrams of your slightly smaller stomach or a repost of some inspirational quote, it’s you dragging your fat ass to the gym on a rainy Tuesday because you aren’t happy with how you look. It’s quitting your job and finding something that makes you feel alive everyday even if that scares you. It’s breaking someones heart even when it means breaking your own too and trusting that it wouldn’t feel wrong if it was right.

Happiness is like this too. People talk about it like it’s something we are born with and can lose. Happiness isn’t a prerequisite to life. You have to fight for your happiness. You have to figure out all the different things that make you happy and then you have to follow them no matter how impossible that seems. You have to be truest version of yourself you can, even when that doesn’t feel like it’s good enough. You have to willing to give yourself to experiences. You’ve got to ask the right questions but you’ve got to be willing to look for the answers too. You have to invest and work and be brave and keeping being brave, even in the face of impossible loss and fear. You have to try, you have to give it all. And some days, even though you’ve done all this, you still won’t be happy. And you’ve got to know how to accept that. That’s all part of it too.

Happiness is available to everyone but we are not entitled to it. It evades us only to draw us closer. Only as a ploy to get us to engage with life.

How do you change your life? How do you become the person you’ve always wanted to be?

You change it. You become it.